New Desert Outlook: the benefits and challenges of throuples and poly families

James May had no idea two years ago that what he considered a harmless flirtation with a new friend would change his future, home life and relationship with long-term partner Jerry Betzold.

The couple was entertaining visitors Darek Mayen of Minnesota and his partner. As they all sat around the kitchen table playing cards, May and Mayen were having a heated footsies encounter under it. When May looked down to retrieve a card he had dropped, he discovered Mayen also toe-to-toe with Betzold.

“I lost it a little bit,” May says.

He and Betzold went outside to talk and realized they both were attracted to Mayen, who had become May’s friend first and then Betzold’s on the photo-sharing website Flickr. “We wanted to see where it would go,” May says.

They returned to the kitchen and engaged Mayen in a passionate kiss, while his partner was in the bathroom. The lip-lock confirmed that their guest was as interested in exploring the possibilities as they were.

Together 30 years since meeting in Seattle, May and Betzold say they weren’t looking to change their relationship before they met Mayen. Their mutual attraction and shared interests with Mayen were unexpected, setting in motion a long-distance relationship. While finishing college in Minnesota, Mayen visited the couple in the desert during breaks and they would fly there to see him. He moved to Palm Springs in May, and now shares a home and intimate relationship with May and Betzold.

Read the rest of the story in the new issue of Desert Outlook here ( or pick up your free copy of the magazine today at the following locations: 





Ace Hardware 1785 E. Palm Canyon Drive

Ace Hotel & Swim Cl ub 701 East Palm Canyon Drive

Airport Quick Wash (Car Wash) 4144 E. Ramon Road

Albertsons Sunrise & Vista Chino (Gay Section) 1751 N. Sunrise Way

All Worlds Resort 526 Warm Sands

Art Gallery District on Cherokee 2682 Cherokee Way

Aunt Effie’s Nursery 2393 N. Palm Canyon Drive

Azul Tapas Lounge 369 N Palm Canyon Dr.

Barber Don 190 E. Palm Cyn.

Basic Gym 1584 S. Palm Cyn

Billy Reed’s 1800 N. Palm Canyon Drive

BMW 3737 E. Palm Canyon Drive

Bongo Johnny’s 214 E Arenas

Brien O’Brien Hair Salon 515 N. Palm Canyon Drive

Café Europa 515 N. Palm Canyon Drive

Café Palette 315 E. Arenas Road

Caliente Tropics 411 E. Palm Canyon Drive

Camelot Theatres 2300 E Barristo Rd.

Camp Palm Springs 1466 N. Palm Cyn.

Canyon Club Resort 960 N. Palm Cyn.

Car Rental Locations @ Airport

Casitas Laquita (Women’s hotel) 450 East Palm Canyon Drive

Century Resort 598 Grenfall Rd.

Chaps Resort 312 E. Camino Monte Vista

Cheeky’s and Birba’s 622 N. Palm Canyon Drive

Chestnuz Resort 641 San Lorenzo

Espress Cielo 245 S. Palm Canyon Drive

Classic Homes 2045 E. Tahquitz Canyon Way

Colony Palms Hotel 572 N. Indian Canyon Drive

Columns Resort 537 Grenfall Rd,

Community Prescriptions 555 S. Sunrise

Contour Dermatology 555 E. Tahquitz Drive

Convention Center 277 N. Avenida Caballeros

Desert Aids 1695 N. Sunrise

Desert Paradise Resort 615 Warm Sands

Desert Regional Medical Ctr 1150 N. Indian Canyon Drive

Desert Women for Equality 555 S. Sunrise Way, Suite 209

East Canyon Resort 288 E. Camino Monte Vista

El Mirasol Villas Resort 525 Warm Sands

Escena 1100 Clubhouse View Drive

Estate Sales Company 4185 E. Palm Canyon

Gay Mart 305 Arenas

Gideon Fine Art Gallery, 2682 S. Cherokee Way

Golds Gym 4070 Airport Center Drive

Hacienda Resort 586 Warm Sands

Hair Salons in PS

Halo Resort 280 Mel Ave.

Hamburger Marys Café 415 N. Palm cyn.

Hilton Palm Springs 400 E. Tahquitz Canyon Way

Hotel Zoso 150 S. Indian Canyon Drive

Hunters 302 Arenas

Hyatt on Palm Cyn 285 N. Palm Canyon Drive

Infiniti 4057 E. Palm Canyon Drive

Inn Dulge Resort 601 Grenfall Rd.

Inn Exile Resort 545 Warm Sands

Jake’s Ready to Eat 664 N. Palm Canyon Drive

Jensen’s Fine Food in PS 2465 E. Palm Canyon Drive

Just Fabulous 515 N Palm Canyon Dr.

Keep on Bookin’ bookstore (Lesbian owned) 611 S. Palm Canyon Drive, #19

Koffi Café 515 N. Palm Cyn.

Koffi Café 1450 E. Palm Canyon

La Dolce Vita Resort 1491 S. Via Soledad


LGBT Community Ctr. Of the Desert 611 S Palm Canyon Dr., Ste. 201

LULUs 200 S. Palm Canyon Drive

Mail Boxes Ect. 611 S. Palm Cyn.

Mango 2080 N. Palm Cyn.

Manhattan in the Desert 2665 E. Palm Canyon Drive

Mercedes Benz 4095 E. Palm Canyon Drive

Mirage Resort 555 Grenfall Rd.

Movie Colony Hotel 726 N. Indian Canyon Drive

OohLaLa 301 N. Palm Canyon Drive

Palm Canyon Theater 538 N. Palm Canyon Drive

Palm Springs City Hall 3200 E Tahquitz Canyon Way

Palm Springs Coffee 123 N. Palm Canyon

Palm Springs Convention Center 277 Avenida Caballeros

Palm Springs International Airport

Palm Springs Art Museum 101 Museum Drive

Palm Springs Chamber Office 190 W. Amado Road

Palm Springs Visitor Center 2909 N. Palm Canyon Drive

Palm Springs Public LibrARY 300 S. Sunrise Way

Palm Springs Fitness

Palm Springs Dental

Parker Meridian, The 4200 E. Palm Canyon Drive

Pinocchio 134 E. Tahquitz

Q Trading 606 E. Sunny Dunes

Queen of Hearts Resort (Women’s hotel) 435 Avenida Olancha

Rainbow Bar & Grill 212 S Indian Canyon Dr.

Ralphs 425 Sunrise

Ralphs 1733 E. Palm Canyon

Read Brown Hair Salon 1063 N. Palm Canyon Drive

Real Estate office HOM,

Renaissance Hotel 888 Tahquitz Canyon Way

Revivals 611 S. Palm Cyn.

Rick’s Restaurant 1973 N. Palm Canyon Drive

Riviera Hotel 1600 N. Indian Canyon Drive

Saguaro 1800 E. Palm Canyon Drive

Santiago Resort 650 San Lorenzo

Shermans 401 Tahquitz

Spurline 200 Arenas

Street Bar 224 Arenas

Terrazzo Resort 1600 S. Palm

Tool Shed 590 E. Sunny Dunes

Tortuga Del Sol Resort 715 San Lorenzo

Toucans Lounge 2100 N. Palm Cyn.

Triangle Inn Resort 555 San Lorenzo

Trina Turk 891 N. Palm Canyon Drive

TRIOs 707 N. Palm Canyon Drive

UPS Store near Revivals

Viceroy Hotel 415 S. Belardo Road

Wang’s in the Desert 424 S Indian Canyon Dr.

Warm Sands Villas Resort 555 Warm Sands

Wil Sites 875 N. Palm Canyon Drive

Windermere 850 N. Palm Canyon Drive

World Gym 1751 N. Sunrise #F1

WorkOUT Gym 2100 N. Palm Canyon Drive


American Hairlines 73640 El Paseo


Burberry 73061 El Paseo

Cal State SB 37500 Cook Street

College of the Desert 43500 Monterey Avenue

Jensens Palm Desert 73601 Highway 111

Keedy’s 73-633 Hwy 111

McCallum Theatre 73000 Fred Waring Drive

Palm d’or Theater 72-840 Monterey

Palm Springs Art Museum’s Palm Desert Branch 72-567 Highway 111

Ralph Lauren 73061 El Paseo

Sun City Palm Desert 38180 Del Webb Blvd.

Trader Joe’s 44250 Town Center Way

UC Riverside 75080 Frank Sinatra Drive


Amici’s Italian Restaurant 71380 Highway 111

Bristol Farms 73101 Country Club Drive

rancho mirage

Establishment A ddress

Clarks Dinah Shore

Contour Dermatology 42600 Mirage Road

CVA 70-000 Hwy 111

Desert land Rover 71-377 Hwy 111

Eisenhower Medical Center 39000 Bob Hope Drive

Elephant Car wash 71-400 Hwy 111

Kraft Nabisco Offices (@ Westin Mission Hills)

Rancho Mirage Chamber Bob Hope & hwy 111

Rancho Mirage Public Library 71100 Highway 111

RM Visitors Ctr

Shame on the Moon restaurant in RM 69950 Frank Sinatra Drive

The Palms Café 69-930 Hwy 111

The River @ Starbuck’s Coffee 71-800 Highway 111

Thai Smile 42-476 Bob Hope Drive


Auto Dealerships in CC? (Subaru) Perez Road and Highway 111

Studio 111 67555 E. Palm Canyon Drive

Cathedral City Boys Club 68-369 Sunair

Cathedral City Car wash 67-790 Hwy 111

Cathedral City Hall 68-700 Avenida Lalo Guerrero

Cathedral City Public Library 33520 Date Palm Drive

Cello’s Restaurant 35943 Date Palm Drive

Colin Fisher Studios 68-929 Perez Rd.

DiGS 36-737 Cathedral Canyon

Don & Sweet Sue’s 68955 Ramon Road

Leons Restaurant (Doral Resort) 28555 Landau Blvd.

Michael’s Café 35-955 Date palm

Palm Springs Fiat 36-400 Auto Park Drive

Palm Springs Lanes 68-051 Ramon Road

Revivals 68-401 E Highway 111

Subaru 67-925 E. Palm Canyon Drive

The Barracks 67-625 E. Palm Canyon

Trader Joe’s Cathedral City 67720 East Palm Canyon Drive

UPS Store In Target Area


Old Town Coffee Company 78-100 Main Street, Suite 102

Trader Joe’s La Quinta 46400 Washington Street


El Destino Night Club 83085 Indio Blvd.

Sun City Shadow Hills 81485 Camino Montevideo


Cabazon Outlets 49500 Seminole Drive, Cabazon